Psalm 139 and me (Part 1.5)
Wednesday, 24 February 2010 00:00
I wrote the first half of this blog about a year ago while I was away from home. It was a time in my life when I knew who I was in God, when I knew I was created with a purpose. I knew about the love that God had for ME. I knew that he thought I perfect just the way I am. And yet I struggled with who I saw myself as and who my friends saw me as.
As I write this, a year later, a year older. I’m still trying to fight off lies in my own life.
Yesterday a friend and I went to the mall and decided to try on glasses. I hated how I looked in them. Some girls put glasses on and they’re still so beautiful. I wish I liked myself in glasses.
I love encouraging girls, I love sharing the fact that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. What happens when I don’t believe it?
This is what I’m going to do.
I told myself that I’m going to be comfortable in my glasses. So, for the rest of the week, I’m wearing my glasses. I’m gonna throw this lie away, and switch it up for truth.
lie = I look ugly in glasses
truth = I'm fearfully wonderfully made.
What lie are YOU gonna throw away?
Psalm 139 & Me (part 1)
Friday, 19 February 2010 00:00
Everyday I'm seeing more and more how people long for
something, anything to fill a space they have in their heart.
I know that I have.
It breaks my heart that it can take someone this long to believe in their heart that they are intentionally created and valued. God's thoughts out number the grains of sand in this world, and the world has a lot of grains of sand on it. The thought of even counting a handful of sand scares me. There are deserts and beaches and random back yards that are full of sand. That's how many thoughts God has about us. As I write this and as you read this God knows WHERE we are, WHAT kind of thoughts are going through are head and all the different feelings we have inside of us. I use to think that having someone know everything that I was thinking was kind of creepy. Now that I know that there is a God that cares about me so much and WANTS to know everything I'm feeling, I want him to be a PART of my thoughts. God is so BIG that he knows EVERYONE'S thoughts and he cares about them so much.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
He knew everything about us even before our lives began, God knew when we would come into this world and every trait and knew exactly the type of person we would turn out be, good or bad and loves us still the same.
People hide. They can hide by being the class clown or being the star basketball player. Some hide behind drugs or alcohol. Some hide with different groups of friends. Subconsciously wanting something to fill a void in their heart.
It took me all of high school to get it into my head that there was no need to party or be around these kind of people to fill my heart with something or to belong. Although these people were and still are my friends I didn't feel the satisfaction that I feel when I'm in the presence of God. Just knowing that there's a God that loves me and knows everything about me and will call me out on my wrongs and celebrate with me when I've accomplished something fills up that void up.
More than anything else ever could.
Knowing that I can't hide from him anywhere, not in the day or the darkest time of night doesn't scare me, it makes me feel safe to know that this God that knit every single person in their mothers' womb is looking out for me. The same God that said let their be light watches over us each and every single day has OUR backs.
This is the God that was crucified on a cross. He died for our every sin.
Once this hole in our heart, the hole that we try so hard to fill up and mend is filled with the love of God you never have to search again. He loves you and me in an unexplainable way. Any love that you or I will ever experience is NOTHING compared to the love God has for us.
Think about this...
Every time you feel like your worth nothing or that you aren't as good as you want to be or that you could have done better. There is someone smiling down at you because he made you that way. It's okay if what you're wearing isn't what everyone else is or you feel like your parents don't pay attention. He's smiling because he loves what your wearing and because he pays so much attention to those little things that matter to us so much.
These are random thoughts. But all of this is truth. He loves us so much and there's so much worth in each and everyone of us.
